Girls & Their Feelings

Dear Diary,

Thinking too much isn't good since chances are, what you are thinking isn't what's happening. The past few weeks made me realised that you can't expect people to reply all of your responses since they could be simply too busy or just dumbfounded of what you said. If the person I'm conversing with is someone special, I would be very sensitive if I didn't get any response when a msg is sent. However, it's not something that should bother you too much since she could simply not respond since she's not feeling her best or it's rather a statement to her rather than an expected response.

K has her vulnerable and soft spots despite showing a strong front to people. It's something that I find admirable and cute. Admirable since she can suck it up and pull through the day when the world feels like it's crumbling. As for the cute part, it's referring more to the unexpected trait. The fact that she shares a personal and vulnerable part makes my heart melt. A will of a man but a heart of a woman is simply the perfect combination. Yesterday, 28/06/2013 is when I learnt my lesson to not think too much on people's response. I gave a random msg, "I luv TGIF!" and didn't get any response. My mind went wild but what I didn't know was, she was having a rough day and she even broke the sacred tears. Plus, YPL helped pushed the pop question about us being an item.

This event confirmed that what girls say is the opposite of how they feel. K commented that we were just friends but what her Whatsapp status shows the total opposite. Her status was negative before we converse but after interactions, it changed to the following:

a) Grateful (Love emo)

b) Whatever happens to us in the future, my time spent with you is the best time of my life

c) Love you like a love song,baby

She might be referring to another person so this would not be a concrete statement.

However, today was simply enjoyable! I spent my Saturday with her from Bottle Tree Park > Pool > World War Z. We had fun and I was so tempted to hold her but I knew it was too soon. Well, I did learnt a few stuff about her though:

a) Heat makes a rash

b) Prefer sweet & salty popcorns

c) Never bowled before since her wrist can't lift heavy stuff

d) Luvs victory!

Not Important At All!

Dear diary, I'm writting this journal out of frustration since I have been left out frm my lunch grp like deliberately. There's only 2 reasons why I wasn't part was due to my heavy work load or to accompany my Malay colleague to a halal place. However, today show a 3rd reason, I'm not wanted in the grp. They came over n said, "We R not joining you today since we R dropping something". At first it I thought alright, just me and my Malay colleague. But it's TRUE that I'm just not wanted n important to the grp as no one asked where I was n took notice. A cruel world when I try so hard to keep everyone included. Why must I pay retribution when I didn't deserve it? Another question in life.

Rumors but True

Dear Diary,

Just recently, I broke news to 2 of my colleagues about my interest in Mawen. Well, I was given a promise that it will be just between the 3 of us but I knew that it would spread to others in no time. It was a risk but people were noticing the regular dinners and chats we shared w only the 2 of us. I couldn't deny it as actions spoke louder than words.

As expected, news got over @ her end and her work neighbors were asking whether she was seeing someone from the office. Her reaction was, "Nope, he's just someone I go Zumba with. It's perfectly normal for a guy & gurl to hang out as friends." I agreed since it was the exact same thing I said to all my previous close gurl buddies. However, it never felt so bad as really didn't have any the connection I now have. Is this what the gurls felt when I said it? Sure sucks!

I didn't really push further into that topic since I knew that it wasn't the right time. 29th of September 2013 is the date when I will break the magical question. It's the eve of her 33rd birthday. Just by writing that figure gives me second thoughts. My plan is to come up with a sketch that consists of a hairpin. It will be a challenge since I have drawn in a while and realism is not as easy.

The last time we hanged out was on the 30.05.2013 since we were both staying late. We had a wonderful dinner @ Plaza Singapura and spent like 2 hours chatting. Here are the stuff I found out:

Likes
a) Meteor Garden

Dislikes
a) Insects
b) Reptiles

We talked about her shooting in a short company video, dramas, company's departmental meeting and some jokes on her local food - something like mango w fish. I'm glad that she's open with a lot of stuff especially problem and what she likes. I managed to give some encouragement about her friend and it felt good. Have you ever felt like on the top of the world when you can make life easier for the people you love? That's definitely what it felt. Love is so unfair since she keeps running through my mind!