Saturday, July 6, 2013

Message for Future Self

Dear Future Lawrance,

What I'm feeling now has happen many times. Do you rmbr how we were so depressed that we couldn't wait and be with Carolin? Well, now it's about 1 year after that and we have found a girl/woman who is simply funny, cute, shy, beautiful, tall, sexy and have dreams. Mawen, the person we are trying so hard to impress and know.

I kept wondering whether 2013 would be the time when my "single" record comes to an end. Well, only my future self would know. However, the reason why I'm writing this is to remind you on a few stuff.

Pictures to reflect on how much we have changed in 4 years!

a) Your Feelings
As time passes, our feelings fade. I'm going crazy with her running through my mind everyday and I'm feel happy when I'm w her. Her sense of humour makes me laugh and I feel excited @ work when I know she's around. I feel sad when she doesn't respond or talk to me even for a day. Jealousy comes so often when I see her with another man. She drives my world and it's grey without her.

Do you rmbr how it feels now? Memory lane will open up n I hope you haven't become a playboy or geek. Loyalty and exposure are important since you will be lonely if you take either route. I don't know what the future has installed for me but I hope you are spending your time w the love of our lives. You can't tell me who but @ least make it worth for the experiences gain now. I have my doubts w Mawen but my feelings for her are the strongest now. My request - don't forget about her.

b) Dream Job
Currently, I'm spending my first 2 years as an accountant. But I know that I'm exactly happy w what I'm doing now. If you are still in it, it's high time that you change your career! Have travelled to Japan n migrated to Canada? I just hope that these plans realised when we read this again. As for our job, my rough idea would be something that boost our confidence n others as well. Motivational n knowledgeable.

Mawen did give a positive feedback on our presentation skills n it should be made great use of. I still rmbr the scene when we talked about dreams @ Marina Barrage till nearly midnight. It was the best moment n I'll always turn to it when things get bad. You might have made many more awesome moments but I just hope nothing bad happens between you n Mawen in the future since that moment will be too painful to be rmbred.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Living in the moment.

Dear Diary,

Today is a bit of a mix. I feel nostalgic, sad, touched, worried, skeptical, jealous and infinite. Work was fine but it could be better. My relationship isn't getting to far but there was a moment that could be considered the best. I made her laugh even when we both were serious and stressed @ work. Thinking of it @ the moment, I didn't appreciate it since I was distracted by work and the possibility that I would be rejected which I was. It seems like I have to an advance booking before getting her. She's a busy woman and her secretary (imaginary) is one hell of a difficult person. XD

Nostalgic - The Perks of Being a Wallflower brings back old memories from my childhood where I was the quite type, innocent and shy. Ash who has been there since my younger days was my confidant and a figure of confidence. He was someone that was not scared to speak his mind and everyone knew him. She could simply speak to anyone and shared his experiences. My childhood was lively with him and other friends who I knew along the way.

Sad, Jealous & Worried - Her plans for the night was booked and my invitation was rejected but it didn't end there. When she left office, our Director left the office while hurrying to catch up with her. I knew that I jealous since she is giving him too much opportunity when I clearly know his intentions are simply not good. He is a family man but still has ample time to bring his staff for personal dinner dates. No matter how I place it, he could just see her as a sexual figure. I'm worried that she will be dragged into a world that could taint her and change who she really is. Being hurt and numb again makes it harder to trust others again.