tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75515489713418507352024-03-05T14:56:31.280-08:00LORENZO's LIFEUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-27452187403113696672013-09-01T06:22:00.002-07:002013-09-01T06:22:50.829-07:00The Time of My Life is OverDear Diary,<br />
<br />
I told myself that I would try my best for K but it came to a point that I lost the chance. She was the time of my life but all good times would come to an end eventually. I discovered that I was in the friendzone since the beginning. I was never a man in her eyes rather someone she taught of as just a regular and no strings attach friend. Honestly, I was fooled in thinking that I was someone who was special in her eyes. The initial attention, her willingness to trust me, spending time when invited, her radiant smile and unique jokes were the little things that made me happy. It was perfect in my eyes but what I didn't see was that I'm just someone she relied on when she just needed someone.<br />
<br />
Reading that sentence again, it doesn't sound so bad, but I'll always be that guy who she treated like a little brother and is simply nice. Nice guys certainly finish last and that's a living testimony. When I saw this coming, I was obviously heartbroken since I never had any chance. She was too good for me and her preference is different. She likes older guys and a life of fun. Haiz, I certainly sound like a jerk now since I know I won't be the one who will hold her hands under the sunset or the one who will make her feel special.<br />
<br />
The week before last week, I felt really low since we hardly talked for weeks and she could simply not respond to my msgs. Whatsapp or SMS didn't work since she was too busy to even notice. She even rescheduled our dinner due her friend's b'day. I was disturbed a little but the most heart breaking thing was she totally forgot our rescheduled dinner. She had plans for the day and I honestly felt that I was the last thing on her list or rather the help line. I was nothing more than a listening ear. I could picture the day when another guy would simply make her dumb founded and capture her heart right before my eyes. Things will go downhill and I would become disposable.<br />
<br />
I did try to show affection like talking on the phone and hanging out till 2am but I didn't even get a hug or even a picture with her when I offered. It took me courage to ask but it just didn't happen. I'm really sad. That's just lame! I'm certain that she would deleted the tag on fb too.<br />
<br />
We had quite the conversation yesterday and wanted me stick with the company till she's able to leave. I thought to myself, is it worth waiting for her when I'll never be her man? Is it worth extending 8 months more of suffering while compromising my studies? All these considerations never sum up into "Yes it is!". I feel suffocated and I'm tearing for being such a fool for believing that love was in sight.<br />
<br />
The best option is to let her go but I'm hesitating.<br />
<br />
Well, it seems like I'm the only one hurt as always. A one sided love that never materialize.......<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-31026542806349003642013-07-06T10:30:00.005-07:002013-07-06T10:31:27.308-07:00Message for Future SelfDear Future Lawrance,<br />
<br />
What I'm feeling now has happen many times. Do you rmbr how we were so depressed that we couldn't wait and be with Carolin? Well, now it's about 1 year after that and we have found a girl/woman who is simply funny, cute, shy, beautiful, tall, sexy and have dreams. Mawen, the person we are trying so hard to impress and know. <br />
<br />
I kept wondering whether 2013 would be the time when my "single" record comes to an end. Well, only my future self would know. However, the reason why I'm writing this is to remind you on a few stuff.<br />
<br />
Pictures to reflect on how much we have changed in 4 years!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbV8TVyk0175AZlYB7ckF3dijmiHTUvZY_5tTgl-ZkDrm3MeHqwnBHiG2fwZ7jkZKDWnQM0P9_a2gufnTyQ64e7mtf3KSsrcHdi0igpmFI_ruJbtvaWG5cy7JROKEB-am6qwmxWK_jpLD/s1600/74025_10200168419238272_1687992387_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_FWcDOOLV3FZToRgzm_Do4-RbeFsPZVBadLHNfZLQDqoZq8AZTGytJvuktkXeB5HF5I9VKnKMcq5mpO5qo4KQh-oD9yvxoiQ2rtgMxNRUj8kOwnv9PItRCulNrPq8BINU01QR3IVZI4K/s1600/7921_154579337735_6700155_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_FWcDOOLV3FZToRgzm_Do4-RbeFsPZVBadLHNfZLQDqoZq8AZTGytJvuktkXeB5HF5I9VKnKMcq5mpO5qo4KQh-oD9yvxoiQ2rtgMxNRUj8kOwnv9PItRCulNrPq8BINU01QR3IVZI4K/s320/7921_154579337735_6700155_n.jpg" width="240" /></a><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbV8TVyk0175AZlYB7ckF3dijmiHTUvZY_5tTgl-ZkDrm3MeHqwnBHiG2fwZ7jkZKDWnQM0P9_a2gufnTyQ64e7mtf3KSsrcHdi0igpmFI_ruJbtvaWG5cy7JROKEB-am6qwmxWK_jpLD/s320/74025_10200168419238272_1687992387_n.jpg" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>a) Your Feelings</u></b><br />
As time passes, our feelings fade. I'm going crazy with her running through my mind everyday and I'm feel happy when I'm w her. Her sense of humour makes me laugh and I feel excited @ work when I know she's around. I feel sad when she doesn't respond or talk to me even for a day. Jealousy comes so often when I see her with another man. She drives my world and it's grey without her. <br />
<br />
Do you rmbr how it feels now? Memory lane will open up n I hope you haven't become a playboy or geek. Loyalty and exposure are important since you will be lonely if you take either route. I don't know what the future has installed for me but I hope you are spending your time w the love of our lives. You can't tell me who but @ least make it worth for the experiences gain now. I have my doubts w Mawen but my feelings for her are the strongest now. My request - don't forget about her. <br />
<br />
<b><u>b) Dream Job</u></b><br />
Currently, I'm spending my first 2 years as an accountant. But I know that I'm exactly happy w what I'm doing now. If you are still in it, it's high time that you change your career! Have travelled to Japan n migrated to Canada? I just hope that these plans realised when we read this again. As for our job, my rough idea would be something that boost our confidence n others as well. Motivational n knowledgeable. <br />
<br />
Mawen did give a positive feedback on our presentation skills n it should be made great use of. I still rmbr the scene when we talked about dreams @ Marina Barrage till nearly midnight. It was the best moment n I'll always turn to it when things get bad. You might have made many more awesome moments but I just hope nothing bad happens between you n Mawen in the future since that moment will be too painful to be rmbred. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-68884148143061434302013-07-05T07:40:00.003-07:002013-07-05T07:40:35.798-07:00Living in the moment.Dear Diary,<br />
<br />
Today is a bit of a mix. I feel nostalgic, sad, touched, worried, skeptical, jealous and infinite. Work was fine but it could be better. My relationship isn't getting to far but there was a moment that could be considered the best. I made her laugh even when we both were serious and stressed @ work. Thinking of it @ the moment, I didn't appreciate it since I was distracted by work and the possibility that I would be rejected which I was. It seems like I have to an advance booking before getting her. She's a busy woman and her secretary (imaginary) is one hell of a difficult person. XD<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqMUOJqg1cuPVt7glmosK-aG3Sgm1TfMq2SLeWfHn0G7UIGJ7pQ4a1EmtY3n9F5MK6LDHgf0JB4wj48xVYMFAWp0ddMWFQjWIBZ13e4J1HznSliN5zd7A-DLK8LVSY69QThy2_JUbq9H_q/s1600/the-perks-of-being-a-wallflower-logan-lerman-31609374-1920-1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqMUOJqg1cuPVt7glmosK-aG3Sgm1TfMq2SLeWfHn0G7UIGJ7pQ4a1EmtY3n9F5MK6LDHgf0JB4wj48xVYMFAWp0ddMWFQjWIBZ13e4J1HznSliN5zd7A-DLK8LVSY69QThy2_JUbq9H_q/s320/the-perks-of-being-a-wallflower-logan-lerman-31609374-1920-1200.jpg" width="320" /></a>Nostalgic - The Perks of Being a Wallflower brings back old memories from my childhood where I was the quite type, innocent and shy. Ash who has been there since my younger days was my confidant and a figure of confidence. He was someone that was not scared to speak his mind and everyone knew him. She could simply speak to anyone and shared his experiences. My childhood was lively with him and other friends who I knew along the way.<br />
<br />
<br />
Sad, Jealous & Worried - Her plans for the night was booked and my invitation was rejected but it didn't end there. When she left office, our Director left the office while hurrying to catch up with her. I knew that I jealous since she is giving him too much opportunity when I clearly know his intentions are simply not good. He is a family man but still has ample time to bring his staff for personal dinner dates. No matter how I place it, he could just see her as a sexual figure. I'm worried that she will be dragged into a world that could taint her and change who she really is. Being hurt and numb again makes it harder to trust others again.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-42574237174144058312013-06-29T10:21:00.001-07:002013-06-29T10:21:18.043-07:00Girls & Their FeelingsDear Diary,<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Thinking too much isn't good since chances are, what you are thinking isn't what's happening. The past few weeks made me realised that you can't expect people to reply all of your responses since they could be simply too busy or just dumbfounded of what you said. If the person I'm conversing with is someone special, I would be very sensitive if I didn't get any response when a msg is sent. However, it's not something that should bother you too much since she could simply not respond since she's not feeling her best or it's rather a statement to her rather than an expected response.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
K has her vulnerable and soft spots despite showing a strong front to people. It's something that I find admirable and cute. Admirable since she can suck it up and pull through the day when the world feels like it's crumbling. As for the cute part, it's referring more to the unexpected trait. The fact that she shares a personal and vulnerable part makes my heart melt. A will of a man but a heart of a woman is simply the perfect combination. Yesterday, 28/06/2013 is when I learnt my lesson to not think too much on people's response. I gave a random msg, "I luv TGIF!" and didn't get any response. My mind went wild but what I didn't know was, she was having a rough day and she even broke the sacred tears. Plus, YPL helped pushed the pop question about us being an item.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This event confirmed that what girls say is the opposite of how they feel. K commented that we were just friends but what her Whatsapp status shows the total opposite. Her status was negative before we converse but after interactions, it changed to the following:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
a) Grateful (Love emo)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Fch3PokqVZ0e8zRXY7greVoZNyyCYRCa5BxDuKpZ1tjWbDlu2pkbd0qznMnwfWez0-02p-CPklY3MPtPf8ydOxssLndf0pONMt5ErO_51i-n0EOE4xMbZbnFJ3RkCyqds9ycO62ZJjTr/s1600/8c052fe6-d607-4da4-b895-3d9aeeee3089.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Fch3PokqVZ0e8zRXY7greVoZNyyCYRCa5BxDuKpZ1tjWbDlu2pkbd0qznMnwfWez0-02p-CPklY3MPtPf8ydOxssLndf0pONMt5ErO_51i-n0EOE4xMbZbnFJ3RkCyqds9ycO62ZJjTr/s320/8c052fe6-d607-4da4-b895-3d9aeeee3089.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div>
b) Whatever happens to us in the future, my time spent with you is the best time of my life</div>
<div>
c) Love you like a love song,baby</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She might be referring to another person so this would not be a concrete statement.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, today was simply enjoyable! I spent my Saturday with her from Bottle Tree Park > Pool > World War Z. We had fun and I was so tempted to hold her but I knew it was too soon. Well, I did learnt a few stuff about her though:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
a) Heat makes a rash</div>
<div>
b) Prefer sweet & salty popcorns</div>
<div>
c) Never bowled before since her wrist can't lift heavy stuff</div>
<div>
d) Luvs victory!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-2117498302549059722013-06-20T21:45:00.003-07:002013-06-20T21:45:54.506-07:00Not Important At All!Dear diary, I'm writting this journal out of frustration since I have been left out frm my lunch grp like deliberately. There's only 2 reasons why I wasn't part was due to my heavy work load or to accompany my Malay colleague to a halal place. However, today show a 3rd reason, I'm not wanted in the grp. They came over n said, "We R not joining you today since we R dropping something". At first it I thought alright, just me and my Malay colleague. But it's TRUE that I'm just not wanted n important to the grp as no one asked where I was n took notice. A cruel world when I try so hard to keep everyone included. Why must I pay retribution when I didn't deserve it? Another question in life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-19204184823784750142013-06-02T07:56:00.001-07:002013-06-02T07:56:19.482-07:00Rumors but TrueDear Diary,<br />
<br />
Just recently, I broke news to 2 of my colleagues about my interest in Mawen. Well, I was given a promise that it will be just between the 3 of us but I knew that it would spread to others in no time. It was a risk but people were noticing the regular dinners and chats we shared w only the 2 of us. I couldn't deny it as actions spoke louder than words.<br />
<br />
As expected, news got over @ her end and her work neighbors were asking whether she was seeing someone from the office. Her reaction was, "Nope, he's just someone I go Zumba with. It's perfectly normal for a guy & gurl to hang out as friends." I agreed since it was the exact same thing I said to all my previous close gurl buddies. However, it never felt so bad as really didn't have any the connection I now have. Is this what the gurls felt when I said it? Sure sucks!<br />
<br />
I didn't really push further into that topic since I knew that it wasn't the right time. 29th of September 2013 is the date when I will break the magical question. It's the eve of her 33rd birthday. Just by writing that figure gives me second thoughts. My plan is to come up with a sketch that consists of a hairpin. It will be a challenge since I have drawn in a while and realism is not as easy.<br />
<br />
The last time we hanged out was on the 30.05.2013 since we were both staying late. We had a wonderful dinner @ Plaza Singapura and spent like 2 hours chatting. Here are the stuff I found out:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCA2J-ByJxSTPgxvqDWsaNfX-I71PmSgV-B9I_5oYaKWbBIR-i6KVQ9lFmVhiWsLBn7PaCbxiafTZ2tsdOVFh_UCtDzSvNQcpYzDwNPjJqvADC0q0VlDWvLi0uUahSeyTITJRxo5wjI9t3/s1600/Meteor_Garden_08082009213405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCA2J-ByJxSTPgxvqDWsaNfX-I71PmSgV-B9I_5oYaKWbBIR-i6KVQ9lFmVhiWsLBn7PaCbxiafTZ2tsdOVFh_UCtDzSvNQcpYzDwNPjJqvADC0q0VlDWvLi0uUahSeyTITJRxo5wjI9t3/s320/Meteor_Garden_08082009213405.jpg" width="320" /></a>Likes<br />
a) Meteor Garden<br />
<br />
Dislikes<br />
a) Insects<br />
b) Reptiles<br />
<br />
We talked about her shooting in a short company video, dramas, company's departmental meeting and some jokes on her local food - something like mango w fish. I'm glad that she's open with a lot of stuff especially problem and what she likes. I managed to give some encouragement about her friend and it felt good. Have you ever felt like on the top of the world when you can make life easier for the people you love? That's definitely what it felt. Love is so unfair since she keeps running through my mind!<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-31985392944749354442013-05-26T02:23:00.003-07:002013-05-26T02:23:43.465-07:00Dear diary,<br />
<br />
It has been 2 years since I last posted something! A lot has happened in this time span. I've got a full time job in a CPA firm, met new people and fell in love.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fXbg0qM0ARsoxQe9ffTQ9JrBskqIE82FVaOr13A0cbPGXeGpnDC-fHPdq3r5upkrRsESyru480uYOl5TDCUQKfNqFSZG13N6uuFn1aI-i4tXY5wF46hAQ6CQU7ms5a3eFX0q-4pWMrWS/s1600/229766_1866227850183_981143_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fXbg0qM0ARsoxQe9ffTQ9JrBskqIE82FVaOr13A0cbPGXeGpnDC-fHPdq3r5upkrRsESyru480uYOl5TDCUQKfNqFSZG13N6uuFn1aI-i4tXY5wF46hAQ6CQU7ms5a3eFX0q-4pWMrWS/s320/229766_1866227850183_981143_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<i>Mharitez Gonzales</i> - someone special who I felt a connection since the first time I met her. Love is an unexpected event since I am putting myself in a very complex relationship. She is a decade older, popular in her community and thinks she is gay. Why would a guy in his right mind fall in love with such a girl. Well, it's her personality that made me took a liking in her. Her shy reactions, enthusiasm in telling her stories, laughter, smile, and maturity.<br />
<br />
By far, this is the most alone time I have spent with a girl. It started with a one on one movie outing which changed our relationship status from colleague to friend (or so I think). She opened up with her broken relationship story and how she suffered from learning the horrible truth about her ex.<br />
<br />
Subsequent dinners @ the convenience of OTs made her more comfortable with hanging our with me even though it was just the two of us. My colleagues were suspecting since we always come back from dinner together but what they don't know is, she doesn't feel in that way. Given the circumstances, it's only normal that she treats me like a confidant and maybe a regular friend.<br />
<br />
I decided to step it up a little by asking her out for jogging @ MBS since she wanted to start exercising again but she didn't have anyone to run with. Then it hit me, since she needed people to motivate her, I fill the job description like a missing puzzle piece. However, I had to bump into my sis and bro which sucked since my sis jumped into conclusion that I was already dating and she was way too old for me. From here on out, my feeling began to waver since I don't have my family support to begin with.<br />
<br />
Soon after, we decided to give hip hop dance a chance. I met her friend and instructor, Paul who ran the classes. It was intimidating since the students were seasoned and routine looked difficult. I gave it a go @ POMO & I lost hands down. I couldn't spin and maintain my posture. When I knew I nearly punched the guy beside me, I decided to throw in the white flag. Surely, it would be good if I got into a fight. Mawen was reluctant to join since we both felt it was too much for beginners like us.<br />
<br />
Zumba was an "Aunty" sport since a professional dancer like Admyra said so herself. However, I decided to give a shot since I may luv it. Mawen and I moved and grooved to the instructor's moves. It was fun and tiring! I was convinced that it wasn't for aunties since I hurt my back! Took me nearly 1 week to get back in shape.<br />
<br />
My second attempt was with more company - Ariel & Lovely. These two are Mawen's best buds and it's only natural that I would eventually meet them in person. However, I do not have good experiences with meeting my crush's friends since the beginning of time. They are either too protective or someone in the group also has a crush on her. It sucks and it happened again. I was clueless of their jokes since they were all speaking in Philippines. Haiz.....the difference in culture sure forms a barrier.<br />
<br />
Well, later that night, I realized that things were actually very messy. Mawen was late since the director held her back which made Lovely upset since we were late and me as well since I was kept in the dark on a lot of stuff. Regardless, it was definitely a test for me since things don't go smoothly every time. I can't blame Mawen for all that had happen since there were many uncontrollable events. If I was in her shoes, I would be dumbfounded as well.<br />
<br />
Lesson: Never jump to a conclusion before analyzing the situation.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-74349160715856214202011-05-21T03:12:00.000-07:002011-05-21T03:12:36.955-07:00Life Changes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Voi9rVXcVOVW8rk-ySBI9EKrPeYlsXkkWrdv9RZEermd0svsxTkMLxj4XS8w7zyO9MFEuh-haakjVgg88rMDxGdOGRmEw7UqLqjZPli7RVLZnX0iSTy4Ao8JrNNfDWVn2qXf9LrrlYI/s1600/easy+a+sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Voi9rVXcVOVW8rk-ySBI9EKrPeYlsXkkWrdv9RZEermd0svsxTkMLxj4XS8w7zyO9MFEuh-haakjVgg88rMDxGdOGRmEw7UqLqjZPli7RVLZnX0iSTy4Ao8JrNNfDWVn2qXf9LrrlYI/s400/easy+a+sign.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It certainly has been a while since I last wrote something significant. Today was rather inspirational and frustrating in a few ways. I was checking out a movie which was recommended by my buddy as smthing that I should not miss. It was "Easy A" a show that co-relates to a teenager's life which shows how people try so hard just to fit in or stand out from the crowd. The shows was simply inspirational in many ways as it tries to deliver a message that whatever problems that we create should be solved by us. It doesn't matter how you do but just do it. Well, lies is particular common in our daily lives but it might bite you back if it goes out of control. In this movie, the problem started with a lie that she was a hooker/slut. Her life was filled with attention at first but gradually became quite bitter as rumours spread like wild fire, mostly exaggerated and untrue. In the end, she ended her problems with a Bang by making a confession to the whole school through her webcam about how her life resolved to its current state. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/5-things-to-know-family-fights-360x240.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/5-things-to-know-family-fights-360x240.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Moving on to the frustrating moment of the day, leaving under one roof with your sibling isn't entirely the best thing life has to offer especially when it's within the same room. My bro is an awesome guy who acted like a father instead of a bro. However, times have changed as I gradually grew up. The kind and cool brother that I used to know is somewhat gone. Time changes people in many ways especially towards the bitter side. It's kinda weird how people let the world change you for who you are. I always believe that people should be able to take charge of their lives not let everyone/anything change it. Well, my brother certainly has. Stress and the pressure of being jobless has definitely made him bitter to everyone. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Today has certainly been a mix of feelings but definitely a learning experience. Well, I'm gonna rock my life and never living without a life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-3942644618143892862011-01-24T18:28:00.000-08:002011-01-24T18:28:52.580-08:00The Chase<div style="text-align: justify;">It's gonna be a stream of pain & stress. I have 5 subjects to study and the best part is that I am way back in time. In order to case up and keep up the pace, I can't even afford to waste a day. It would be dooms day if I did. Damn u Chinese New Year! I never felt this way for CNY. I wish that exams did have to fall during the CNY period. Well, guess life isn't always fair. Got to stay focused and strengthen my will because it's gonna be a really rough week that will test me physically & mentally. Gambahtei! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDEVo6_xirjAtn4dpm_sjEwOkxSyeajPnUmOPbm_WB-15fBkaarsGqELZV2riUKm_Fm8WnGjFCfFXas4y8dbF8k7loBiNtb74GxEG3gQaL21sp82Qj3b8dWn0fIbrSOPdtp1Yi6mFGmfbv/s1600/CherChristinaAguileraBurlesque_thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDEVo6_xirjAtn4dpm_sjEwOkxSyeajPnUmOPbm_WB-15fBkaarsGqELZV2riUKm_Fm8WnGjFCfFXas4y8dbF8k7loBiNtb74GxEG3gQaL21sp82Qj3b8dWn0fIbrSOPdtp1Yi6mFGmfbv/s400/CherChristinaAguileraBurlesque_thumb.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Speaking of which, I just got inspired to keep on living with enthusiasm when I watched "Burlesque", acted by Christina Arguilera. It was a really inspiring and fun show that shows how strong a woman can be if she tries her best and stand for what she believes in. Having faith and confidence in yourselve is the most important thing to keep by your side especially when you are in a tough spot in life. Life can keep pushing you down but you can keep getting up if you try your very best. As long as you don't give up, you can achieve your wildest dreams. That movie made me realised that there is so much in life and I am glad that I am not attached yet. There are many awesome and beautiful women out there and having one now in Singapore is a complete waste of time. Comparing the 2 different worlds, Singaporean girls are like small girls rather than real women. Well, that what I see and believe. An awesome movie worth watching at least twice. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-32037686449146364432011-01-17T19:41:00.000-08:002011-01-17T19:41:30.325-08:00Cake Hunt & Cramming<div style="text-align: justify;">It is a really tiring day. From campus to Bedok, from Bedok to East Coast Road, from ECR to Bugis, from Bugis to Orchard Road, OR to Tanjong Pagar and lastly, from TP to Yishun. All that within 4 and the half hours of travelling. It certainly is a journey worth doing for someone so close in my life. It's painful but satisfying. I left campus at 5pm to embark on my journey to Bedok. I knew it was going to be a long journey but who knew that the Cheesecake Cafe was not in operation on Mondays and Tuesdays. I was utterly shocked when I discovered it's closure. It was around 7.40pm when I reached ECR. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to find such a ulu place even though it was nightfall. However, my heart pumped up and sank when I saw the shop. I was delighted for the first few seconds but it was a disappointment for the rest of the journey. I quickly thought of an alternative immediately by setting my next destination to Ngee Ann City. I was disappointed once again with the poor selections of cakes they had. I asked around and received my final option which is Paragon. They had Bakerz'in which had the flavored cake I needed (Tiramisu). But the price was a jaw dropper. It was $51 dollars! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite all that I went through, I think that my decision to get it was not in vain. To my surprise, it was actually an ice cream tiramisu cake. It's no wonder why the price was so high. I was also glad soon after because my sister loved the cake. All ends well I might say. The other awesome thing that happen that night was a incidental meeting with an awesome girl. She was gorgeous and had the innocent ambiance around her. She brought about 2 totally different elements. Blasting off a loud music while looking so ignorant. But she was worth the thought. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">As of today, I realized that I have lost my touch in presentation. I fumbled at the second line it self. What a shame for someone who managed to represent TEP. I need to socialize more to get my jaw, tung, and confidence exercised. No more games and non-relevant activities that waste my precious time. I have to get my game up again. Regrets are an absolutely no.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2Yk464GossoVvCE17cA1WCAvhNX3FI5Mp4ThFchBmj2opjxYeCWvOzqmrWf4Qc5FM-aSJdrHZAT8vJphQMCkZEM-4c9KfDXBIDJfovtE1tqv3fqo-q6PHR-1tT3eQGmE2d1pDWAyk4kI/s1600/qZmlOiMkEQ1YIL-640m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="417" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2Yk464GossoVvCE17cA1WCAvhNX3FI5Mp4ThFchBmj2opjxYeCWvOzqmrWf4Qc5FM-aSJdrHZAT8vJphQMCkZEM-4c9KfDXBIDJfovtE1tqv3fqo-q6PHR-1tT3eQGmE2d1pDWAyk4kI/s640/qZmlOiMkEQ1YIL-640m.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-8279336127362938652011-01-15T12:40:00.000-08:002011-01-15T12:40:12.560-08:00Projects & People<div style="text-align: justify;">Having the opportunity to be part of projects is an experience worth remembering. It enables me to work with various types of people who can either make you happy, stressed, angry, delighted or even surprised. How you deal with projects is important because a bad start will kill the mood and the motivation of your members. I have pretty much screwed up many projects with my ignorance and laziness. I should say that I was a pain in the next for my previous leaders. However, I now understand what it means to shoulder the responsibility of a leader. If you don't decide and take the first move, your reputation and drive will instantaneously be rendered useless. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dealing with projects is like dealing with people. If no attention is given to it, there will be no progress like how relationship is distant when interest is lost. Constant dedication and strong discipline are needed to pull the strings together. Those strings are the people who are part of the team, people who can either cause the team to crumble or rumble. If the right step are taken, the team will be highly motivated and enthusiastic. As a result, the team has cooperation and quality. It is something that is hard to achieve but necessary. That is what I managed to learn out of countless failures and hardship. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mOjaGmlBrmF5e0wC7eg287cPgMXgn_qJE6Wp9avsdTXqUwIGhT8pLN2dDS2N23_VQEPp-7qqdNf5uj39m3NO0cdZCxi_5RRBTUaFkcHINoxMTSiOf1r4bXvlpDVqia6YPSUQkQVNULDA/s1600/Naruto-Team-anime-wallpaper-naruto-wallpaper-manga-wallpapers-1024x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mOjaGmlBrmF5e0wC7eg287cPgMXgn_qJE6Wp9avsdTXqUwIGhT8pLN2dDS2N23_VQEPp-7qqdNf5uj39m3NO0cdZCxi_5RRBTUaFkcHINoxMTSiOf1r4bXvlpDVqia6YPSUQkQVNULDA/s640/Naruto-Team-anime-wallpaper-naruto-wallpaper-manga-wallpapers-1024x600.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-68062457681294449352011-01-12T00:38:00.000-08:002011-01-12T00:38:34.674-08:00Valentines<div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9miiK3vkn80KjSAXat23kzvg1vJVbgYygZl8CANyZWz8cFCo8PItqp5VKi5LqMW1s0t7YuqOCvsYhz8vw4g1k-qVuDX-NTsGhvSLMll89ghAMJa1DgZAPA0ZkHNFC1Sr73uf_sM6vndiK/s1600/kimi-ni-todoke-454716.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9miiK3vkn80KjSAXat23kzvg1vJVbgYygZl8CANyZWz8cFCo8PItqp5VKi5LqMW1s0t7YuqOCvsYhz8vw4g1k-qVuDX-NTsGhvSLMll89ghAMJa1DgZAPA0ZkHNFC1Sr73uf_sM6vndiK/s320/kimi-ni-todoke-454716.jpg" width="201" /></a>Everyone has someone special in their lives. They can be someone as close as their family or even a secret admirer. Thinking about old times, I too have crushes with many girls buy never once attempted to take a step forward and be honest towards my feelings. It was a fantasy that was shared only with myself. I believe it was the lonely days of my life. I envied my friends who had awesome girlfriends and able to please them with jokes and memorable moments. However, I always knew that one day I might be able to see the moment of Love in my life. It's a day to look forward and experience. If I remembered correctly, here are the girls who passed through my life and moved on:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><i>Dixie Ong</i><br />
<i>Diane Too</i><br />
<i>Wong Chu Wen </i><br />
<i>Pamela</i><br />
<i>Hui Min</i><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">Evey girl in the above inspired me in various ways. I always looked up to them since they were of a different league of their own. I was small, young and aimless in life. I did not have an identity and route. Through my growing years, I played PC games, Football, Basketball and even Cycling. But, I only excel only at a certain moment. Those moments never came back after that. I began to let go of many things which I could spent hours, days, months or even years. I was growing up. When I look back, it was worth not going up and confession to these girls. Reason being, they were actually not special. I was just too ignorant and love sick. I did not see that the time I spent loving them secretly could be diverted into improving my self to be a better person. Now, I have a new dream and aim in life. I have to do well in my studies, get a good job, be confident and ultimately be in Japan to lead my life. It was a small dream but I realised that anything can be achieve as long as their is will, effort and guidance from the right people. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Watching "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #535353;"></span></span></div><h1 style="color: #535353; display: inline !important; font: normal normal bold 11px/normal arial; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.watchanimeon.com/kimi-ni-todoke-season-2-episode-1-1/" style="color: black; text-decoration: none;">Kimi ni Todoke</a>", it brought me back to those days. Days of ignorance and self-indulgence. Never had worries about money nor self-esteem. It was haven and the best times in my childhood. I was Love that made my youth days so interesting. Though I did not have an actual relationship, I am glad that I still get to spare that experience for someone special in the future. Someone who accepts me for who I am and Love me unconditionally. A girl who shares eternal love and trust with me till the ends of time.</span></h1><br />
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</h1>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-3431962803199989482011-01-11T02:38:00.000-08:002011-01-11T02:38:18.039-08:00One Life<div style="text-align: justify;">I realized that everyone has a life to live and a mind to decide. Everyone chooses their own friends and clicks. The people that surrounds them are the people who stick with them through thick and thin. However, you can't make everyone like you. It is easy to make a bad image by doing the wrong things. Sometimes, I wish I was that good myself. I have been a bad leader in terms of attitude and personality. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But, people can change and I want that to happen to me as well. In order to change, actions have to be taken to improve one's self. I have to put in 100% effort to complete it perfectly. I managed to get a full grade for ICT and I know I can do it again. I have to learn to love myself before I can love others. Never have negative thoughts and always make my priority straight. Distraction is a challenge because it can come in any form so long as it drives you away for your main focus especially in life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0yNNHf_qtDnqmstU54E-Id2K9ddzdLI_4D5hzCqccivA0BupGeC5uWWaKZoYmmxCi5dHJcpkvOGoNYmEZQ4n_gN-3yT_ihjQw85wYcqvaJsYmj7lOI5CLZWR2wJkpP5-sJ_Oh21sK-LX/s1600/1448089721_f32508a534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0yNNHf_qtDnqmstU54E-Id2K9ddzdLI_4D5hzCqccivA0BupGeC5uWWaKZoYmmxCi5dHJcpkvOGoNYmEZQ4n_gN-3yT_ihjQw85wYcqvaJsYmj7lOI5CLZWR2wJkpP5-sJ_Oh21sK-LX/s1600/1448089721_f32508a534.jpg" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-14212793219580878362011-01-10T03:10:00.000-08:002011-01-12T02:54:10.579-08:00Meaning Behind Life<div style="text-align: justify;">Being inspired by the littlest things in life is what makes me feel that it's worth the hardship. In ever individual's life, there is always a story to tell. That is what makes new people so interesting. The moment your story ends, it's the end of your life. As long as there is time on your side, create a story and remember that it's you that you are creating. Literature Girl a Japanese Anime Movie that tells a tale of a girl who loves stories and ate them like her diet. Her story involved a guy, Inoue, a talented writer who had a complicated past. His career began because of his childhood friend, Miu. He dedicated all his talent into a book telling a tale of his love towards a girl who he had looked up to. The story came into a complex scenario that revealed all the dark secrets Miu had. Despite appearing like a perfect girl, she was ugly on the inside. However, it was something that everyone had. It's the fear of being left all alone. Love and Companionship are important in everyone's life. It can make someone stronger and willed to live. Another lesson that the story revealed is the power to let go and move forward. Everyone has a road in life and it is what makes a future.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6jdgwsSi0Qz8EMYN9f2F6SAsY1RN9lBUQXvEOAtPBN-y6DBIaGMj2sSFEWfTiaZ-dwp2ApFpUMLzVCi03DBRNDfhVLV_5c5MkY_8uUsBEGDQAK2w8nOFoUhLddZNOb24MDm5fvoqFmInZ/s1600/vlcsnap-215243.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6jdgwsSi0Qz8EMYN9f2F6SAsY1RN9lBUQXvEOAtPBN-y6DBIaGMj2sSFEWfTiaZ-dwp2ApFpUMLzVCi03DBRNDfhVLV_5c5MkY_8uUsBEGDQAK2w8nOFoUhLddZNOb24MDm5fvoqFmInZ/s320/vlcsnap-215243.png" width="320" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkVB1xud0lopq6DLsA6fSA6j2X95UPxRfRNfEQ_mE-0aJ1HwJKb9Ve57KLj9p85iLrgjZSZenW2ytgT6hfDYp8lmHSanCOfakIJgirw05w1H1Zx8TdEj97ZNGiWegJtYtfkKcMV0w6F_41/s1600/bungakushoujo10.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkVB1xud0lopq6DLsA6fSA6j2X95UPxRfRNfEQ_mE-0aJ1HwJKb9Ve57KLj9p85iLrgjZSZenW2ytgT6hfDYp8lmHSanCOfakIJgirw05w1H1Zx8TdEj97ZNGiWegJtYtfkKcMV0w6F_41/s200/bungakushoujo10.png" width="200" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-79553210083595510472010-12-28T23:01:00.000-08:002010-12-28T23:01:41.703-08:00A Long Journey<div style="text-align: justify;">I can't help but feel so tempted to do other stuff, disregarding all the workload on my back. However, I have to keep going on to reach the finish line. Running away from problems and responsibilities will not erase them. I have to face them full force and break the barriers of pain and hard effort. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite having all the positive thinking, I feel down and restless. All I want to do is to relax and do nothing. Logically, I would be losing out in so many areas if I did that. Remembering the another day, I feel motivated to be better person with high dreams and hopes. I have so much to do and so little time. I guess I need more time management and self-discipline to reach my destination in life. XP</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have to be calm and composed to think straight and maturely before taking abrupt and irrational actions that might lead to wastage of precious time and money as well. Darn, I feel that I'm thinking like an old man. I want to be funky and fun but it seems that it's not my nature. I just have to be who I am and enjoy the little companions that I have. Being someone else is a real struggle since I have to always put on a mask to fit in.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Come to think of it, people who I used to know in TEP have started to ignore and give me Stearn faces whenever we crossroads. I guess bad rumours about me have spread all over their network. I pretty much understand that I did a few mistakes like being to impulsive, short-tempered, arrogant and once, a jerk. However, I want to change all that now. I need to improve people management skills and let everyone enjoy when they work with me. It's hard to be leader but I'll learn and strive to be a better one. Oops, I'm kinda hungry with all that work, time to chow down some food!</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"> <i>"Like they say, if problems keep pushing you down, keep getting up and never give up."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOz9vC25_nBQgusrTFE2xjTBisdqz5A6g-FQz47HwnYcAWvQHkeSV6W5w4xfZVI6S0stgGKQon9ZGZdefff0P219F3wAdCt5bHyyniQwPiGCBPy5uO3giGvrtfs4v9_1MRZuJE99BMhIX/s1600/5087512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOz9vC25_nBQgusrTFE2xjTBisdqz5A6g-FQz47HwnYcAWvQHkeSV6W5w4xfZVI6S0stgGKQon9ZGZdefff0P219F3wAdCt5bHyyniQwPiGCBPy5uO3giGvrtfs4v9_1MRZuJE99BMhIX/s640/5087512.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i> </i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7551548971341850735.post-73552732942001076712010-12-25T02:40:00.000-08:002011-01-12T02:51:30.670-08:00Christmas Love & Drive<div style="text-align: justify;">It was an awesome Christmas celebration in my sis's place. They had lots of food and people. However, I wasn't entirely communicative with the people who attended the party. They were adults who are working and have wives and husbands. Their taste and topics were so different and new. I felt out of place but thank God that the food kept me company. When I taught that the party was going to be a lonely and "anti-social" one, she was there. She was particulary different from everyone there because she was willing to talk about topics that were all to familiar. She was my Sis's friend's older sis.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Something about her made me so intrigued and interested. We had a normal conversation but I was enjoying it. Her personality couldn't compare to her younger sis in the right way. She was more approachable and fun to talk with. I was drawn to her life experience as a girl who was brought up in Texas and now living as a single matured women and with a sweet companion (dog). The best part was, she inspried me by giving me hope that I'm able to travel if I wanted to. If I were to end up in Texas in the future, I'm more than welcomed to spend a night at her house. This experience made me want to be more than what I am.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">From that night onwards, I look forward to the next day to be a better person and hopefully a person worth having fun and joy with.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"A night to remember and a person to look forward in the future to come"</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2tQWiREwk3Z78kb7nP19Hm1JiSSkvkVRUgbk6IXad3v_wuj4xf9l_eDI4eUnySZmH8L99lQAzAvxC8KcVaMynn4abym1hgmXBZmV4FSR7yKewKHGg-HFCux8zvR1HzvTzEkQYq2iepFh5/s1600/christmas-anime-lucky-star_800x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2tQWiREwk3Z78kb7nP19Hm1JiSSkvkVRUgbk6IXad3v_wuj4xf9l_eDI4eUnySZmH8L99lQAzAvxC8KcVaMynn4abym1hgmXBZmV4FSR7yKewKHGg-HFCux8zvR1HzvTzEkQYq2iepFh5/s640/christmas-anime-lucky-star_800x600.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><i><br />
</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0